


Your Pain is My Gain

by Shi_Toyu



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Jensen, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotions, First Kiss, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Head Injury, Hurt Jensen, Hurt cougar, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Men Crying, Mistaken Character Death, Misunderstandings, Serious Injuries, Temporary Character Death, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 21:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu/pseuds/Shi_Toyu
Summary: When Cougar's injured on a mission, Jensen will do whatever it takes to get him back to safety... but at what cost?





	Your Pain is My Gain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wakandan_wardog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakandan_wardog/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Toni! I just barely managed to sneak it in before the deadline! Also special thanks to Amethystina for an amazing beta job.

When it happened, Jensen wasn’t even given the luxury of watching so he could know what happened. One second, he and Cougar were side by side, providing cover for the others to get out of the line of fire, and the next Cougar was making a small, pained noise and falling down behind him. Jensen grit his teeth, grip too-tight on his gun, and didn’t turn around. For the long, torturous seconds it took the others to make it across the open area and into the cover of the trees, Jensen couldn’t even be sure if Cougar was still alive.

Pooch’s form disappeared into the foliage and Jensen was already turning, dropping his weapon into the dirt and falling to his knees beside Cougar’s too-still form. Blood coated his shoulder and chest, too much to be able to tell at first glance exactly where it came from. His hat was tipped over and laying upside down nearby, a surer sign than any other that something was drastically wrong. There was a cut across his forehead, too, that hadn’t been there before. Jensen cursed and felt across Cougar’s chest to try and find the location of his wound.

“Cougs? Cougs?! Come on, don’t do this to me, man!”

There was a crackle of the coms before Clay’s voice came through.

“What’s the situation?”

“Cougar’s down!” Even as he said it, Jensen’s fingers skirted over ripped flesh, a hole high in Cougar’s shoulder. “He’s been shot in the shoulder, but he’s unconscious and not responding!”

He heard a curse over the line and couldn’t help but echo the sentiment.

“You’re gonna have to get him to the rendezvous point, Jensen. These bastards are hot on our tails and there’s no way for us to circle back. Can you do it?”

Jensen looked around at their gear, an easy hundred pounds on top of Cougar’s weight that he’d have to shoulder if he couldn’t get the man to wake up.

“We’ll be there.”

It wasn’t like there was any other option, really. The enemy would come searching for them soon enough, if they weren’t already on their way. Cougar and Jensen’s position had been given away as soon as they opened fire. The clock was ticking, and Jensen could feel time running out with every beat of his heart. He scrambled for his water jug and dumped the entire thing over Cougar’s head, to absolutely no response.

 _Fuck_ , but that wasn’t a good sign. With the cut on his forehead, Cougar must have hit his head on a rock or something when he’d gone down. He was probably suffering from a concussion on top of his head wound. Just great. Jensen shucked his jacket and wrapped it hurriedly around Cougar’s torso, tying it tightly by the sleeves. It wasn’t anywhere near as good as actual bandages, but he didn’t have the time to even shred it. He could already hear shouting in the distance.

Snatching up his satellite computer and Maria, Cougar’s rifle, he slung them over his shoulder. The rest of the equipment would just have to be replaced later. There wasn’t any time to lose on gathering it, much less trying to cart it all through the dense jungle where it would only slow him down. With a silent prayer for forgiveness, he scooped up Cougar’s hat, too, and stuffed it on his own head. He couldn’t exactly carry it any other way.

“Alright, Cougs,” he exhaled loudly. “Let’s do this.”

He hefted Cougar, heavy enough on his own and wearing body armor on top of that, onto his shoulders and staggered to his feet, nearly losing his balance and crashing them into a tree before he could get them all situated. Cougar hung there limply, despite how uncomfortable the position had to be, long, wet hair dangling in his face and swaying gently with every move.

“I’m totally saving your life right now, for the record,” Jensen grit out through clenched teeth as he set off through the trees. “You so owe me. Don’t kill me for wearing your hat and I’ll call us even, okay?”

He boldly ignored how much Cougar’s, admittedly characteristic, silence bothered him.

.

Cougar woke slowly, senses dulled by what could only be a hefty dose of prescription pain medication. He remembered the mission, a sharp pain in his shoulder throwing him back, and worry for Jensen before everything went black. What had happened after he’d been knocked out? Was Jensen alright? Had they been captured? Somehow, Cougar didn’t think he’d have been given drugs if they were, at least not painkillers.

Even with the meds, his head pounded, so Cougar opened his eyes just a crack to let them adjust. The room swam for a moment before coming into focus. He blinked up at the ceiling for a few seconds before cautiously turning his head. He was in the main room of their small safehouse, laid out on the sofa. Clay sat just a short way off at their tiny kitchen table, giving Cougar a wry grin.

“Well, if it isn’t Sleeping Beauty. You gave us all a bit of a scare back there.”

Jensen wasn’t anywhere in sight and he’d _always_ been there whenever Cougar woke up from an injury before. If he wasn’t here, it could only mean something terrible had happened. Cougar’s heart clenched in his chest. Maybe… Maybe he just couldn’t see Jensen from this angle. The idiot had probably fallen asleep on the floor or something.

His shoulder protested loudly as he tried to push himself up and he bit back a noise of pain. Clay was there a moment later, helping him shift into a seated position.

“Hey, slow down!” Clay warned. “You’ll rip your stitches.”

The room was empty except for the two of them and Cougar could see a dark sky out the window. Hours must have passed since their mission that morning. So, where the fuck was Jensen? Cougar’s gaze caught on where his hat sat on the coffee table, bloody prints from long, slim fingers decorating the rim.

No… No, no, _no, no!_

Clay grimaced when he saw where Cougar was looking.

“Right…” he said softly. “Jensen wanted you to know he was sorry. He was able to get you to our rendezvous point, carried you across his shoulders, actually, but, well,” he gestured toward the hat as if it’s presence explained everything. It did, Cougar supposed, or at least the blood on it did. “There was no other way.”

Cougar felt completely detached from reality, numb and floating. How could Jensen be dead? He was too full of life to be dead. That didn’t stop Cougar’s mind from pulling up all sorts of mental images, though, of Jensen wounded and struggling, still carrying Cougar to safety. Had Jensen died because of him? Would he have lived if he hadn’t had to carry Cougar? Clay had said there wasn’t any other way, but did that mean there wasn’t another way to save Cougar or that Jensen couldn’t have been saved?

Cougar had been raised Catholic; he was no stranger to guilt. What he felt in that moment, however, threatened to overwhelm him. He swallowed roughly and dipped his head so his hair would hide at least a bit of his devastation.

“Where?” he managed to force out roughly.

Where had Jensen’s body ended up? Was it here? Had they been able to bring him back with them or had the team been forced to leave his body elsewhere so that they could make their escape? Cougar couldn’t stomach the thought of that, of Jensen left behind somewhere, uncared for and alone. He deserved so much better than that.

Luckily, Clay understood the words Cougar couldn’t say. He nodded toward the room Jensen had been bunking in.

“’Figured you’d want to see him. He’s in there.”

Clay helped Cougar stand, but then let him walk to the door of Jensen’s room on his own, turning back to the kitchen to give Cougar at least some semblance of privacy. Cougar paused with his hand on the knob, taking a deep breath and bracing himself for what he was about to find on the other side.

The room was dark, lit only by the light coming through the door as Cougar opened it. Electronic scrap littered every surface, all of which Jensen had insisted time and time again was absolutely essential. A laptop sat closed on the little table Jensen had used as a desk, patiently waiting to be used again… only the one it was waiting for wouldn’t be coming back.

Jensen - Jensen’s _body_ \- was sprawled across the bed, facedown and just barely visible in the dim light. A fierce rage swept through Cougar’s veins at the sight, just barely kept in check by his grief. How dare their teammates just _dump_ Jensen here like this! Part of him wanted to turn on his heel and go sock Clay across the jaw for allowing it, anything to distract himself. He forced himself further into the room instead. He would deal with Clay and the others later. It was Jensen who deserved his attention now.

As a sniper, Cougar had always prided himself on his ability to hold perfectly still for hours on end, to be able to control his heartrate and breathing. Jensen had always said that, if he needed stitching up, he wanted Cougar to be the one to do it because his hands were the steadiest. They weren’t steady now. They trembled as Cougar stepped silently closer and closer to the bed. His lips trembled, too, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

He dropped to his knees beside the bed, all of the strength slipping from his frame. His shoulder jolted painfully from the impact, but he couldn’t even bring himself to care. His trembling hand reached out to stroke Jensen’s hair, something he’d never been brave enough to do when the man was still alive. His head bowed, and he squeezed his eyes shut from the pain in his chest as he began softly murmuring the Prayer for the Dead. His fingertips just barely skimmed Jensen’s scalp and Cougar could almost, _almost_ , pretend he could feel the warmth of a living body.

“Mmm… don’ stop. Tha’ feels nice…”

Cougar jerked away so fast that he fell over, landing on his injured shoulder and forcing a soft cry of pain from him. The body on the bed jumped to full alertness, scrambling off the mattress and crouching beside him.

“Shit! Cougar, are you okay? What happened? Did you lose your balance? Are you dizzy? How’s your concussion? When did you even wake up? Dammit, Clay was supposed to come get me when you woke up!”

“Give him a moment to breathe, Jensen,” Clay spoke up from the doorway, probably alerted by Cougar’s cry. “He was already headed in here. Figured you’d get the memo that way.”

Cougar barely even followed their conversation, too busy staring at Jensen’s very-much-alive face and trying to wrestle with the maelstrom of feeling rolling around inside of him. Relief, obviously, and joy so powerful that it left him reeling. His chest felt tight for a completely different reason, the tears he’d held back before now slipping free and dripping down his face.

 _Jensen was alive!_ What was more, he didn’t even seem to be hurt other than a few scrapes and scratches and the bags under his eyes.

Now that Cougar was looking for it, Jensen actually looked exhausted. Even his concern and running mouth couldn’t cover up the way his boundless energy seemed to have taken a hit. Cougar tried to calculate just how far Jensen would have had to carry him. His muscles were probably killing him.

Cougar swayed dangerously with the weight of his relief and scrambled for Jensen’s shoulders, for some piece of him to hold on to and prove that this wasn’t some figment of Cougar’s imagination. That was alright, though, he thought. Jensen was grabbing hold of him, too.

“Cougar? Cougar, please say something. You’re scaring me.”

The fear was clear as day in Jensen’s voice and Cougar let himself fall forward until he was pressed up against Jensen, head in the crook where Jensen’s neck met his shoulder. Jensen hesitated for just a moment before his arms wrapped around Cougar’s back.

“My hat,” Cougar murmured against the skin of Jensen’s neck, enjoying the way it made him shiver.

“I had to wear it on the walk back,” Jensen confessed, the regret clear in his voice. “I didn’t have a hand free between you, your rifle and our satellite computer.”

The satellite computer was a highly-specialized piece of equipment that Jensen had built himself. It would be extremely difficult to replace. Cougar’s rifle, on the other hand, was something easy enough to reacquire, even if he had customized a lot of it. There was nothing special about the rifle other than its sentimental value to Cougar, but Jensen had chosen not to leave it behind. Just like his hat. He knew what they meant to Cougar.

Jensen just didn’t know yet what _he_ meant to Cougar.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Cougar surged upwards to capture Jensen’s lips with his own, startling a surprised noise out of him. Cougar counted off the seconds in his head, promising that if he made it to five and Jensen still hadn’t responded, he’d take the hint.

Cougar never made it to five and neither of them paid any attention to Clay softly closing the door on his way out.


End file.
